You’ve heard about business coaches for entrepreneurs, and you also have a business idea or a launch in the making. Most of my clients are usually not sure exactly how hiring a coach would benefit them. And of course, they often wonder if it makes sense to invest a portion of their capital in a coach.
Those are all valid questions. In this post I’ll give you the information you need to make the right decision for you.
As a coach who works primarily with entrepreneurs but also an entrepreneur who hires business coaches, I believe I have an insight you may find valuable 🙂.
So—How Does A Business Coach For Entrepreneurs Accelerate Your Launch?
#1 Clarity Creates Motivation
When we’re on our own (speaking from experience here), we tend to get tired from work and all our adult responsibilities. We want to spend our weekends recharging and getting ready for another busy week. We love our business idea, but we rarely get around making significant progress.
I’ve been there, and I get it.
I had this coaching business in my head for months before I launched it. The website you see, any logos, blogs, and even pictures were all created in the safe container of working with my own business coach.
I too had limited time, multiple competing priorities and practically no budget.
A great business coach for entrepreneurs will help you get very clear and specific about your personal purpose, your vision for your life, and the mission of the business.
Once you know exactly what you are creating and how it fits with your vision of success, you’ll find the time and energy you’ll need to invest to make your dream a reality.
A great coach will help you find areas of your life that drain you. Step by step, you’ll eliminate energy vampires and create new ways to make time.
I know it sounds like a hefty promise but it’s continued to be true for me each time I was creating my three separate brands. For a while, they seem impossibly challenging to bring to life and dreamy, but with the right support, you’ll find a way to bring them to life.
#2 Alignment Brings Inspiration
You and your business coach for entrepreneurs should know exactly what your top four-five values are (BTW—here is a link to a detailed post I wrote about this with an exercise to help you identify your values if you’re struggling).
When you know exactly what’s important to you, you can see what makes your business idea special to you.
Sometimes we forget why we decided to start our business. Usually, my clients haven’t talked about why they started the business to begin with in a while. The more we uncover their motivation and how it fits in with their values, the more inspired they feel.
When we align our actions with what’s most precious to us (your mission) that’s when we become unstoppable.
For example, my values are family, well-being, wisdom, connection and fulfilment. Being a professional business coach for entrepreneurs is in perfect alignment with my values.
The flexibility of the business allows me to spend quality time with my family. It’s in the best interest of my business for me to be in an exceptional physical, mental and spiritual shape- that’s well-being.
My passion for wisdom drives me to be constantly learning about myself, universal truths, the human experience which is in perfect alignment with being a great coach.
My love for connection makes supporting others in their own pursuit of fulfillment extremely satisfying. Being in that kind of alignment makes me feel fulfilled.
#3 A Strategic Plan Drives Consistent Action
Together with your coach, you’ll create a strategy for your business. From that strategy, you’ll set goals and priorities. Then, you’ll break down the goals into tasks that you can execute weekly.
If you’ve been procrastinating working on your business, it’s because you were overwhelmed and you didn’t know where to start.
It seemed so big and confusing, it made you open a can of hard kombucha, a bag of popcorn and turn on an episode of Schitt’s Creek. This is a fictional scenario. The details were not inspired from personal experience.
When you start working with a coach, all of this ambiguity will go to the wayside. There have been so many times I hung up the phone with my coach and I was ready for action. When you know the exact step that is in the right direction, you’re 1000% more likely to take that step.
#4 A Well-balanced Life Priorities Increase Performance And Results
If you spend some time finding the right coach for you, they’ll probably have a holistic approach to business and success. They wouldn’t allow you to go all out and grind at any cost.
Having a business is more like a marathon, you have to pace your energy. And as a long-distance athlete you’ll have to hydrate, eat healthy, exercise daily and have a team of professionals supporting you.
A great entrepreneur coach will make sure you’re enjoying a good work-life balance and you’re having fun while you are on your journey.
Often left on our own devices, we forget to embrace the journey. We wait to be happy and proud until we reach a certain milestone.
Your business coach will make sure you remember who you are and what’s truly important.
When you are at your best physically, mentally and spiritually, you make great choices that save you money, time and energy.
Your business coach will identify areas where you can grow, stretch or change your mindset around. They’ll watch out for blind spots and they’ll challenge your current perspective. Often, this will result in saving a TON of time and money.
If I get a dollar each time a client had a breakthrough and made a different choice that saved them time and energy, I’ll have a few hundred bucks, lol.
#5 Coaching + Support + Accountability = Courage To Be Bold
Self-doubt creeps in even in clients who I’ve worked with who already have 7-figure businesses. When you do something new and big, there’ll be overwhelm, imposter syndrome, fear of criticism, fear of competition, and a few more unique limiting beliefs that you’ll encounter. A coach will be there every step of the way to help you with what you need to move past them.
Working with the right coach will provide you with the space to think everything through, to feel supported and confident in your decisions. After working with your coach for a while, they’ll just get you. Moreover, they’ll know you so well that when they encourage you or they assure you that you’ve got what it takes, you’ll know in your core that it’s true.
Hearing from my own coach what he thinks I do well and hearing his words of encouragement are always a superpower. Coaches don’t B.S. you. If they are good, they speak little and what they say is impactful.
#6 Managing The Shiny Object Syndrome Saves Time And Energy
One thing that entrepreneurs have in common is great new ideas and passion to pursue them. In a way, that’s a blessing and a curse. Having multiple competing business ideas or projects makes it hard to bring even one of them to full fruition.
Working with a business coach will help you choose your main priority and stay on track with that. You can still entertain all your other new and shiny ideas. But a great coach will be curious. They’ll ask lots of questions to help you uncover your drivers and motivators.
Sometimes we are so inspired, we come up with a ton of new ideas. But not all great ideas are in alignment with our mission and values. We just have to write those ideas down and revisit them again later to see if they feel more relevant.
#7 Spotting Self-sabotaging Behaviors Save You Lots Of Time And Money
It’s very intriguing that sometimes we self-sabotage by creating new distractions. When our current project is starting to feel overwhelming, we tend to find something else that seems easier, more financially lucrative or suddenly more exciting.
The opportunity to play smaller or to have found “an easy way” could be energizing and therefore blinding. A great entrepreneur coach will help you spot what’s really going on so you can stay the course.
But that doesn’t mean that success has to be difficult.
Just the opposite. Sometimes clients find the longest and most challenging line between A and B because they have an established belief that they have to struggle to get to what they really want.
Working with a great business coach for entrepreneurs is trained to recognize that pattern as well. They’ll help you find new ways to achieve your goals without the hustle and the struggle.
Another self-sabotaging practice I’ve seen as a business coach for entrepreneurs is that clients attract expensive shortcuts that promise quick results.
For example, a client with a small practice was approached by a marketing company. They had convinced her that if she invested about $3,000 a month for 6 months with them, she’d have hundreds of new clients.
In general, there’s nothing wrong with online marketing and finding a ton of new clients but that’s not what my client was trying to build.
She already had a great practice and she was looking to increase her impact in other ways. She could use a couple of extra clients to help her fund her other projects but having any more than that was going to take her off track her bigger purpose.
When we spoke in depth about this opportunity, we identified the reason she got so excited about the prospect of dozens of new clients. She felt as if she needed to have a full practice for credibility for her other projects.
But by asking her the right questions, she recognized that a full practice wouldn’t allow her to have the time to invest in the other projects. And those projects were her main priority. Also, she didn’t need a certain number of clients to be more credible than other experts in her field.
I hope by now you are quickly trying to navigate towards my Get In Touch page so you can send me a message or schedule your free consultation.
I have an extraordinary passion for business and marketing and I’d love to talk shop with you. Especially if you liked my GIFs.
And if you hated my GIFs but you still want to hire a coach (just not me), here is a link to another helpful post I wrote about How to Hire A Business Coach.
How To Improve Your Environment – Feeling and performing at your best requires a significant amount of energy. Sometimes it feels nearly impossible to excel in our careers, spend time with family, take care of our bodies and grow our business all at the same time. Sleep, exercise, good nutrition, and connection play a huge role in having consistently high energy levels throughout the day—but they’re not the only factors.
Our outside world and environment are often indicators of how we’re feeling on the inside. It’s hard to feel energized if you’re surrounded by messy rooms and unorganized closets. Having more flow in your environment brings more flow into your internal state. Leaving your external world a mess zaps your energy. You feel like nothing is working and you’re constantly bumping into challenges.
What if instead, you experienced things flowing easily throughout your day, allowing you to take care of the things that matter to you the most? I’ve worked with a few clients who had significant personal and professional success by improving their external environment.
So in this post, I’ll summarize the easiest and most successful ways to leverage your environment to gain more energy and give you a system for identifying your areas for improvement. This way, you’ll be able to manage your environment for more energy and perform at your best.
Step #1: Take inventory of what you’re physically tolerating – How To Improve Your Environment
Make a list of all the things in your environment that annoy you: dishes in the sink, broken doorknob, overdue oil change, too many folders on your desktop, unanswered emails, piles of laundry, etc. Take a little notebook or start a note on your phone and list every single thing that you don’t like around you.
We’re just making a list—don’t get overwhelmed with how you’re going to fix everything yet.
Take the list with you throughout the day and notice other things that aren’t working or are not efficient. Continue the exercise for a day or two. Don’t forget to list essential items like organizing your personal documents and less important but still annoying things like getting a new garden hose.
Making a list will help you close all of the open tabs in your brain of things you’re trying to remember. Having ALL those items in one single list will already start to give you some more energy.
Step #2:Take inventory of what you’re virtually tolerating.
We spend a lot of time on our computers and phones. Make a list of what you can organize better there as well.
I recently had a session with a client who has been procrastinating on completing a big project for a few weeks. It was clear that he really wanted to complete it, but something was holding him back. Finally, he shared that his current working environment is less than optimal. His computer and desk weren’t comfortable and his desktop was overly cluttered. He shared that he had files and folders everywhere and a dozen tabs open at all times.
It’s almost impossible to focus when your workspace is disorganized. So ask yourself if there are areas in your phone, computer or tablet that could be cleaned up.
Step #3: Take inventory of what you’re tolerating in your business.
If you’re self-employed or you run a business, carve a couple of hours in your schedule to look into everything that could be optimized, simplified, systemized, automated or DELEGATED.
Bonus tip: Delegating is the most unutilized solution. You can delegate anything that you don’t want to do, don’t like doing or that’s slowing you down. Maybe it’s not possible for you to delegate much at this time, but set it as a goal and eventually, it will be.
Example: meals, cleaning, busy work, repetitive tasks, etc. I often think of my hourly rate and the hourly rate I can pay someone to get the job done. If I feel like I’ll have a good return on investment to pay someone else I usually do so.
Step #4: Start living as if you were the most organized person you know.
Before you start taking action on your lists, start making changes as you go.
Before, I used to let my laundry accumulate through the week and then do several loads on the weekend. Then, I’d have dry laundry on my bed for days. At night, I’d move it to the couch and in the morning, I’d move it back on my bed for future Kalina to worry about.
Now, the moment I have enough for a load, I just throw it in the washer, then in the drier, and then I fold it the same evening as I’m talking on the phone or listening to an audiobook.
The problem is, we think we don’t have time throughout the day to take care of the small things. So then the small things pile up and become the big things that drain our energy.
Think about the small things in your life that always seem to get in the way. Make a point to not let them build up any more.
Step #5: Prioritize your list and spread out your tasks in your calendar.
Now that you’re clear on what you need to do differently, you can start taking action.
First, re-write your list of things you’re tolerating by putting the ones that annoy you the most up on top. Complete it with listing everything else.
Next, find 30-minute blocks in your schedule and book one of the items you listed and take care of it. The goal is to make this easy, simple and not overwhelming so break it down into small chunks. You don’t need to block out a weekend to re-organize but you can chip away at your goals every day.
Lastly, keep the list somewhere where you’ll see it. You don’t want to forget to use the opportunity to knock more stuff off as you go.
In conclusion, our energy levels and how we feel depend to a big extent on what our external world looks like and how well it works. I think almost anyone would agree that they feel happier and more productive in a clean and organized home. And most entrepreneurs feel in a better state of flow when they’ve set up their business with the systems it needs to run smoothly. Setting up those systems can take some upfront time and energy but the results are worth the effort.
Even checking the smallest little annoyance off of your list will make you feel energized. You’ll probably experience a little boost of the feel-good hormone dopamine as you take care of something. That little moment of reward will boost your energy and make you want to continue these new habits.
If you still feel overwhelmed and stuck, you know who to call. Book your complimentary consultation over here.
Can You Afford NOT to Have a Coach? Are you trying to grow personally or professionally? Do you have a vision for your future where you fulfill your potential and live in alignment with your values? Are you thinking of changing careers, starting a business, stepping into a new role at work, or just leveling up a particular area of your life?
If so—can you afford not to have the support, accountability and guidance of a coach during this time of change and growth?
You can find your answer by answering this question:
If I veer off my desired trajectory by one or more degrees, would this affect my final destination? If yes, am I okay with arriving somewhere else?
Did you answered NO? Then you cannot afford to not have a coach in your corner. This quote from tandemfinancial.co.uk can help you better visualize the importance of staying on course when chasing a goal:
“Experts in air navigation have a rule of thumb known as the 1 in 60 rule. It states that for every 1 degree a plane veers off its course, it misses its target destination by 1 mile for every 60 miles you fly. This means that the further you travel, the further you are from your destination.”
Need more of a push to hire a coach? Here are 5 more reasons why you cannot afford not having a coach—and the few degrees that may change your trajectory.
#1 Imposter Syndrome
Roughly nine out of 10 of my clients experience imposter syndrome at some point along their journey. When you play big, you eventually reach a point where you can’t help but wonder if you’ve earned your seat at the table.
Working with a coach will help you remember who you are and where you’re headed. Many of my overachieving clients are so focused on their goals and what’s next that they forget how far they’ve come. They focus more on their challenges and shortcomings rather than their amazing strengths and expertise.
It takes that outside person to remind you of your strengths and accomplishments. A coach will support you to grow into your new role with confidence and authentic inner power.
#2 Fear
Fear often disguises itself as a well-meaning concern for your safety. To be fair, your fear has probably kept you out of a lot of trouble. But the same evolutionary fears that protect you from bears and sharp cliffs also keep you playing safe.
Your protective mechanisms don’t want you to get hurt.
When fear comes up, we either stay the same or modify our goals to something smaller and safer. For example, instead of applying for a new position, we decide that we’re not ready and need to pursue more education or experience.
I’ve myself have done this out of fear of disappointment or rejection. In 2012 after I completed my education and I had my daughter, I started to apply for full-time jobs. I knew I wanted to be a coach back then, but when I looked for opportunities, extraordinarily little seemed available. After a couple of disappointments, I decided to apply to be a personal trainer. I knew I had more than enough qualifications and experience to do that. My career journey continued in fitness and then in fitness management before I eventually came back to coaching.
I wonder what my trajectory could have been had I had a coach back then. Of course, I have no regrets and I got some great and relevant work experience on the way. But a coach early in my career could have supported me to play bigger and be more patient and courageous.
Working with a coach can support you in overcoming these fears and recognizing them before you veer off course.
#3 Emotions
Our nonstop environments hit us with events throughout the day—the news, email, our family’s moods, traffic, the weather, our bosses’ requests, etc. All these events trigger an emotional reaction in us.
Emotions are internal compasses we use to navigate life. We tend to go toward things that make us feel good and avoid things that make us feel bad. However, we also have automatic emotional responses to events. That means that your body and mind have gotten used to certain emotions and turn them on by habit. That’s why change is SO difficult.
For example, say you want to stop getting angry when your kids misbehave, but anger seems to automatically creep up every time. (Could I be using a personal example here?)
Sometimes certain emotions seem negative, but if examined with the help of your coach, they may turn out to be positive. For example, a client recently revealed that he felt nervous when he thought about realizing the vision of his business. But after we talked about it he realized that a lot of that anxiety was actually excitement and not fear. With that awareness, he is able to show up fully and pursue his dreams.
# 4 Old Beliefs
We have many beliefs about ourselves and how the world works. Some are true and some aren’t. A coach’s job is to stay curious and always ask where you’re coming from. As I coach, I want my clients to come from a place of clarity, confidence, and trust. And to do that, we need to peel off the layers of conditioning just like you’d peel an onion.
As innocent as old beliefs seem, all clients I’ve worked with had some kind of unexamined beliefs that were slowing down their progress or overwhelming them. Yes, even the really successful and high-achieving 7-figure business owners.
Working with a coach will help you spot a limiting belief and see how it hasn’t been serving you. After that ah-ha moment, it feels like you’ve been carrying around an 80lb backpack with one strap that you can finally put down.
For example, I had a client who believed that success meant a full-time job in corporate America where he worked up to a 6-figure income managing projects. Nothing about this vision seemed to reflect in his personality and values. After a few months of work together this client stepped into his zone of genius as an artist and fully went on to pursue his dream to create and sell art.
He then became an unstoppable force as he was now on the right trajectory and it was much easier to navigate his journey. We got clarity on his new vision, created his strategy, and set his goals. Then, he continued to execute the plan with confidence and alignment.
#5 Conditioning
We’re all products of our environment to a certain degree. Often, we pick up our family’s or community’s values as our own. A few months ago, I started working with a woman who hired me to help her to get a full-time job after retiring from the military. She had a long list of benefits and wants from that “ideal” job.
After our initial few sessions where we focused on discovering her values and her vision, she had a breakthrough. She realized that she never even questioned whether she was supposed to get a full-time job or not. It was her default reaction to where she was in life.
She was raised to believe that she had to have a full-time career and never really stopped to wonder if that’s what she truly wanted.
After a few more sessions we changed her goals. She is now diving into starting her own business while staying open to consulting opportunities for businesses and non-profits. This way she is staying true to her values of work-life balance.
I started my own business five years ago. If I veered off by a few degrees, I’d be somewhere totally different. My path would have been longer and probably a little more painful. I’m forever grateful for the coaches and mentors I’ve worked with who supported, challenged, and believed in me. I’ve shared my story and experience with coaching here.
I hope this post was able to help you understand on a deeper level how working with a coach can help you take fewer detours—as we all know, the road to success is always under construction.
If you’d like to learn more about coaching or working together, schedule your free consultation or leave me a note at info@coachkalina.com
There are more and more people who call themselves coaches — and a never-ending amount of self-help offers. Lately it seems like there’s messages all around us about a new course, program, coach, therapeutic modality and transformative work that can get us that ultimate feeling of self-mastery.
Everywhere you turn, you’ll find someone saying that because they figured out this one life hack, their life now is totally different and they’ve never looked back. And now, they want to teach us to do the same.
But does it really work that way? Do we really transform? Does the transformation stick? Are we officially done with and over that problem for good?
Or we are being scammed by testimonials of people in near-orgasmic states of tranquility and success who want to fool us into spending more money hoping that the next program will finally help us feel better, happier, and more confident?
If you’ve found yourself skeptical of all this inner work, you’re not alone. I was in the beginning and I still am now of some of the magical “fixes” I see being offered. But before I get into what I’ve learned through my journey, I’d like to start off by laying down some definitions to make sure we are all in the same conversation. Then I’ll share a personal story to make my case.
Inner work refers to the exploration of personal beliefs about the self, how the world works and our behavior. Also, it could be referred to as the unpacking of the baggage we’ve accumulated from the earlier days of our existence. I like to think of it in terms of technology. We came to this life with a set of hardware like a computer. And we also came with a software which is our operating system like Windows. Our upbringing was shaping our software and laying the foundation for how our computer works.
So how does personal development work that promises transformation measure up? Does it really work with updating our software?
Well, a few months ago, I got to test all that I’ve learned.
It was a Wednesday, and I remember that it looked beautiful and sunny outside. Yet, I woke up feeling not happy. I started the day with a heaviness on my chess and as the day progressed my levels of anxiety increased.
It all had to do with a text message that I wasn’t getting back.
My thoughts started to spiral down. My inner monologue was getting worse by the minute. I went outside to my balcony for a midday workout hoping to shake off these feelings and the uneasiness that was weighing on me, but I caught myself spiraling even further.I was thinking things like:
Of course this will happen to me.
I never have it easy with dating.
Why does it have to be so hard?
I had recently met someone who I was really excited to get to know. We both shared that we are feeling a crazy level of connection on multiple levels. Out of nowhere, he was getting distant and that stirred up some of my old baggage that I had worked on for a long time. I used to feel a sense of rejection if friends or dates canceled plans, didn’t prioritize me or if I wasn’t invited somewhere. I had worked hard on releasing this ultra sensitivity that used to bring me so much pain. And yet today, out of nowhere, I was starting to feel those old feelings of victimhood and pain resurface just because someone hasn’t asked me out again.
I checked my period app — I wasn’t PMS-ing or ovulating. I was well-fed and well-rested. I had no excuse for my state of being. I tried to rationally talk myself out of this frustration with all the techniques I’ve learned for the 5+ years of intense inner work BUT nothing was working.
Landmark leadership courses, energy healing, life coaching, business coaching, dozens of personal development and spiritual books, sound healing classes, breath work — you name it, I’ve probably done it. All my coaches were praising me for my hard work and for how far I’ve come. But there I was, a life coach myself, on my balcony, trying to lift weights, having a pity party.
I wanted to call both of my coaches and tell them to fuck off. None of this shit works. Why am I so upset over this feeling of disappointment? Why are old wounds resurfacing? Wasn’t I done with that lesson?
I kept thinking, “I’m such a loser. I’ve been on more than 50 first dates. If anyone can be great at dating, it should be me damn it!”
At some point I remembered a spiritual audio book from Abraham Hicks that had said something about how on certain days nothing will work to get you out of your stinking thinking and you’ll have to write off the day. Only sleep can reboot your buggy computer.
So somehow I made it through the day and went to bed as early as I could. I was so over feeling disappointed and frustrated with my life. At the very least, I remembered not to take any action from such a negative state.
When I woke up the next day, I landed my feet on the ground and remembered to check in with how I was feeling. And I’m happy to say that I felt great! My normal “me” was back. Happy and optimistic, loving my life! Yes! Thank God I was feeling so good.
For me, the goal of doing inner work Life is to feel as good as much as I possibly can. It’s about closing tabs on my browser as soon as I am done with them and not let negative things drain energy in the background. Inner work is not about full self-mastery and never experiencing pain again, but the progress we make. If it was 5 years ago, I’ll be stewing over the same issue for months. Where now, most things wouldn’t rob me of my joy for more than a few hours or a day. And a lot fewer things have the power to knock me off my bliss.
So I’ll leave you with this: Inner work won’t always save your ass from bad days.
Sometimes it will straight up fail you and you’ll be angry at it. But the rest of the time, it will free you from the chains of broken software and viruses and too many open tabs. Doing the inner work is not about perfection, it’s about progress. It’s not about self-mastery, but self-awareness. You may not completely get rid of your baggage but you can decrease it to carry-on size.
I’ll finish with this quote: “Heal so you can hear what’s being said without the filter of your wound.” Even after a few bad days, I still think that’s something worth striving for.
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Work Life Harmony – These 11 strategies have the power to transform the stress and anxiety around your personal life, your professional life, and even your health. Doing some work upfront in the form of reflection and completing these steps will provide you with an any-case-scenario problem-solving solution. The reason why these strategies are so effective is that they are created based on your true essence and who you are from your core. When you organize your life from the inside out and around what’s most important, you gain a sense of peace of mind you may not have had since you were a child.
Often, we get so busy and buried in the daily problem-solving, we forget about the big picture. And when we try to move forward from a place of stress, we get anxious about the choices we make. We start to question everything. We feel out of balance or we experience burnout.
What you will get out of completing these steps is a short, simple, and effective tool that you can easily use to bring yourself back to center and get the clarity you need. Then, you can feel in harmony with whatever your circumstances are.
If you are using this technique correctly, you’ll be at peace, whether you are spending the majority of your time on a project and shutting the world off, or you are chilling on a hammock with a mai tai.
A sense of harmony doesn’t come from dividing up your time evenly between all your life segments—like work, family, fitness, fun, etc.—but from the feeling that you are doing the right things at the right time and that you are prioritizing correctly.
So, work-life balance is not a problem of “balance” but prioritization. Each piece gets its appropriate time and attention at any given moment. The moments are constantly changing, and you need to be able to keep dancing with what’s most important at each given moment.
To be able to decide which is most important, you’ll need to check in with your findings from completing these steps.
The first time I started playing with the ideas of the work-life “balance” was after I read the book, The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results, by Gary W. Keller and Jay Papasan. They introduce the idea of “counterbalance,” and how we just learn to juggle the important things and switch our focus to what’s most important at that exact time, while leaving the rest of the variables out of balance.
They make a great point that there are several aspects that you can’t juggle, but you must always prioritize, as they don’t recover from a juggle fall. They are your health, your family, and your close relationships. They make an argument that these 3 often don’t bounce back, and you don’t really want to take any chances there either.
So, let’s get to work:
Get crystal clear on your personal VALUES.
Consider this a 30-minute exercise where you brainstorm the top 10 most important things to you. Think of all areas of your life. Then, picture yourself on your deathbed, or on a rocking chair at 99 years of age, or your tombstone, if you wish. Think of potential regrets, unfulfilled dreams, or wisdom you would want to pass down. What are the top 3 things that stand out as true to your soul? What are these 3 values that are so important to you that you don’t see yourself living without them? Look at the list of possible VALUES at the end of this e-book. If you take these 30 minutes today to get clarity on your top 3 or even top 5, you can expect a huge return on investment from saving time on making decisions for the rest of your life.
Example:
My top values are health, wisdom, family, and love.
Any time I am presented with an important life choice, I check if it aligns with my values. I ask myself: “Does this support me in living with my values or does it pull me away?”
Job offers, business ideas, relationships, hobbies, and lifestyle choices could easily “run through” your top values.
2. Evaluate your current lifestyle.
Now that you have your values narrowed down to 5 at the most, take an honest look at your life. Look at the way you spend your time. Where and how does most of the time get invested? What do you pour your life force into? Give yourself a grade from 1 to 10 on each value and how you are fulfilling it NOW. Not how you want to, but how you actually are. Be honest and tell the truth.
In some areas, you may need to make small changes that lead to great results. And sometimes big transformations are needed. Small changes could be as simple as adding vitamins and omega-3 supplements back into your diet to support your health value. A life transition or a career change, for example, are bigger transformations that require a lot more attention but still need to be considered if your current life doesn’t reflect your values.
No matter how big the change may seem, acknowledge that you want to work on this area of your life and create a step-by-step plan for it. Hiring a coach could be a great support during these times.
Working with a coach has helped me during some of my biggest and hardest life transformations and transitions. During the past 5 years, I have recovered from a divorce, left my full-time job as a fitness manager, started a new business, actively dated as a single mom in her 30s, career-transitioned and started two businesses, lost and grieved my father, and created a flexible, positive, healthy, and happy co-parenting lifestyle for my daughter with her father. None of this would have been possible if I was not committed to fulfilling my greatness and therefore hiring help to support me in this journey.
Think of all areas of your life and boldly state the facts. What’s working, and what needs to improve, change, or transform? Then, take action.
3. Set new priorities.
With a new awareness of the status quo, write down what grades you want for these values in 30, 60, and 90 days. Write down what DAILY actions and habits you are going to implement. Set systems in place for all the new habits. Having a system that you can implement and then just plug in and play will ensure that you are making these new habits sustainable and lasting. For example, a system for eating healthier is to get a healthy meal delivery subscription, like Thistle. I love getting several fresh salads per week that are packed with a wide variety of vegetables that I would never otherwise purchase and prepare myself. Other examples of effective systems are carving out time in your schedule for things like time with friends, the gym, or a class you’ve been wanting to take. Actually putting it in your calendar increases the chances of it happening from near 0% to near 100%. Setting reminders on your phone is also helpful to stay faithful to your new goals.
4. Create time for your new priorities.
Make a massive cleanup of your schedule. Identify all life-sucking activities that you’ve been tolerating but you don’t truly believe serve your values and life vision.
Are you driving your children to a dozen sports activities instead of spending downtime together and connecting on a deep level? Are you spending 4 hours each weekend cleaning when you can probably afford someone to do this for you and free up a few hours for time in nature or with friends? Are you spending hours each day on social media or in front of the TV, but insisting that you don’t have time for the gym? Are there people in your life that drain your energy? Be bold and unapologetic about making massive changes to your lifestyle.
This life journey is a fleeting moment in the grand history of humanity. Spend it on your terms.
I recently had a conversation with an old friend who has seen me curate a different life over the past several years. He said that at first, I seemed cold hearted in the way I prioritized my time. He said that it seemed selfish when he saw me stick to my boundaries and decline different invitations. He had seen me end long friendships or pull away from some others. He shared that he now finds it inspirational to see the results of my hard work and how I’ve been enjoying time for the people, hobbies, and work that’s important to me and that inspires me.
Learning to limit time with family and friends that have more negative than positive effects on us could be the hardest. We can still love these people and wish them well, but it doesn’t mean that we can give them our hours.
5. Stay committed to your priorities.
Learn to comfortably and confidently decline offers that are not feeling like a “Fuck yes!” Remember that if it is not a “Fuck yes,” then it’s for sure a “Fuck no!” Don’t get pressured and cornered by well-meaning folks who ask for your time, even if it is for a great cause. If cutting down your volunteering time will mean more joy, freedom, and peace of mind due to a couple of hours of relaxing time every 2 weeks, then change your commitment. A lot of my clients tell me that they are “people pleasers,” and they hate disappointing the people around them by saying “no.” My response is that you’ll have to choose: Do you want to live with the feeling of disappointing others, or the feeling of regret of disappointing yourself? What happens often when you please others is that you build up resentment. Putting others first isn’t always noble, wise, or selfless. It’s often irresponsible. You are asked to put your oxygen mask on first in an airplane for a reason. We are only good for others when our needs are being met FIRST.
This life was given to you, for you. It is your responsibility to design it the way you find fitting. Find your truth and stay committed to it. Other people’s opinions have never paid your bills and will never lead to a fulfilling life. My favorite quote on commitment is: “If you are interested, you’ll do what’s convenient. If you are committed, you’ll do whatever it takes,” by John Assaraf.
You can apply that to your diet, fitness, relationships, business, an inspiration, project, and practically anything. Just ask yourself: “Am I committed to this, or am I just interested?” And then act accordingly.
I am constantly curating my life to make my life an expression of these values. When I first completed this exercise myself, I realized that I was barely fulfilling the health value. At the time, I ate a plant-based diet, I exercised vigorously several times per week, and I was in great health according to my yearly checkup. However, what I realized was that I was doing the bare minimum of what I knew about living a healthy lifestyle. I was practically avoiding getting fat or ill. I was not actively promoting my health by doing my very best. The intentions that drove my actions were rather weak and not inspired by serving my health. The last 3.5 years I have been transforming my relationship with my health. I’ve made huge progress in my intentions and the way I think and feel about food, exercise, and mental health.
I have been incorporating all my knowledge about health and fitness into my own lifestyle, and I am investing more time and effort into it. When I go to the gym, I think of all the benefits that movement gives to my body and how amazing it makes me feel afterward. I go into my routines with an intention to care for my body, not punish it for not being perfectly sculpted. I’ve incorporated green vegetables into my main meals and I’m mindful of the variety of fruits, vegetables, and nutrients I get from my foods like probiotics, minerals, and vitamins.
In conclusion, I identified my value and started aligning my life closer with this value.
6. Create a killer morning routine that gets you pumped up for your day: move, reflect, plan.
As Aubrey Marcus says in his book, Own the Day, Own Your Life: Optimized Practices for Waking, Working, Learning, Eating, Training, Playing, Sleeping, and Sex,if you master one day, progressively, you will master your life. Your life consists of individual days that, put on a string, make up your life. So, if you are not working on your goals and priorities daily, you’ll never have the life you desire. If you keep writing that book in your head, it will never get published. But if you set aside 30 minutes every day, eventually, you’ll have it written. Create the habit of taking action on ALL your goals. When you think of something that you should be doing, make it a thingyou ARE doing.
Top influencers, successful CEOs, and thought leaders have been sharing their morning routines and the importance of getting a solid and consistent start to your day. What I’ve learned from Tony Robbins, Mel Robbins, Tim Ferriss, Gary W. Keller, Jay Papasan, Joe Rogan, and Aubrey Marcus is that there are a few key and common across-the-board habits for the first hour after you wake. One them is a sort of movement: Move your body in a way that gets your heart rate going. It helps boost good hormones of joy and gets your metabolism and focus jump-started.
Next, reflect on what your priorities are for the day. Compare your daily actions for the week and how they measure up with your weekly, monthly, or yearly goals, or your overall vision.
Adding a cold shower, sunlight, and breathing and/or meditation to your morning are other positive practices that are backed up with tons of research and have been around for a long time.
Also, set an end of your workday. It’s nice to look forward to, let’s say, 7 p.m., when you can stop being a responsible adult. Stay away from checking your phone for messages and emails. Living life on your terms means making your priorities the big rocks and filling in the jar with the small rocks of everything else that will be demanded from you via the world.
Create your own routine and try to execute 70 to 80% of it on most days. We are going for progress, NOT perfection, as one of my favorite entrepreneurs and influencers, Marie Forleo, says.
USEFUL TIP: Completing something hard first thing in the morning will boost your confidence and help you get things done the rest of your day. Getting the worst out of the way will leave you anxiety-free and feeling accomplished the rest of the day.
Great books on this topic are: The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage, by Mel Robbins; When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing,by Daniel H. Pink; The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results, by Gary W. Keller and Jay Papasan; Own the Day, Own Your Life: Optimized Practices for Waking, Working, Learning, Eating, Training, Playing, Sleeping, and Sex,by Aubrey Marcus; and HighPerformance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way, by Brendon Burchard.
7. Create solid work boundaries.
Decide on what time you will start working and the time you will end each day, and stick to it. Having a deadline will help you stay focused during the day and be more productive. If you have been responding to work emails around the clock, you may have to do some reflection and extra work to change this. Often, it’s the corporate culture to respond to emails from 5 a.m. to 10 p.m. It may seem like an impossible goal to not be available to your boss, employees, or coworkers, but there are people out there with the same circumstances that have figured it out. If it’s not done at your company, be that visionary and disrupt the system. Do it first. I once worked at a job where the employees never took their lunch break, or they ate very quickly standing up a few minutes at a time. I decided that this didn’t work for me, so without permission, I started sitting down every day for 15 minutes to eat my meal. At first, my coworkers were shocked. I could see them just waiting for me to get in trouble. No one said anything, so after several weeks, everyone started sitting down, and it became the new official culture of the workplace for the following few years I worked there.
My point is that you need to be aware of your values and set strong boundaries around them. We tend to respect people with strong boundaries and trust them more. Be one of them.
8. End your day with thoughts of gratitude.
A great strategy is to keep a gratitude journal and a pen on your nightstand. Before putting the lights out, list a few things you are grateful for. You might be surprised that even on a bad day, if you sit down and really think, you will find several great things or moments in your day. Tons of research is coming out proving that being grateful is the fastest way to overcome fear-based thoughts and also transform our reality. Rewiring our brains to focus on the good and raising our vibration by appreciating will lead to a peace of mind, a sense of satisfaction, and joy.
I noticed that when I started this practice (after years of refusing to, because I just didn’t think it was cool), I felt much happier about my day. I often had forgotten about small wins earlier in the day. I caught myself feeling my heart filled with love for my family, my clients, and my home. Writing it down just made it so much more real and tangible. It’s such a fulfilling and rewarding way to end your days. It feels like a mini celebration of life. Each day in itself builds our lives. Celebrating each one of them will create a life worth celebrating.
9. Don’t take life too seriously.
Be flexible and become capable of detaching from your plans and how you think things are supposed to go. Detours happen. Our planning for life makes God laugh, as someone once said. At the end of the day, life is about the journey and not the destination. All paths lead home anyway, so trust that everything is happening to you at the right time. Learn to easily let go of things not going your way, and embrace the mantra, “Everything is perfect the way it is.” You missed your flight? Immediately repeat: “Everything is perfect the way it is.” You don’t know why you were steered in a different direction? Being angry and frustrated are terrible feelings and score low on the vibrational scale. They won’t help you feel balance and harmony, so even if it feels fake or irrational, try to replace them with a sense of faith that things are always working out for you.
Comedian and author of the book, Comedy Sex God, Pete Holmes, shared in an interview with Lewis Howes on The School of Greatness podcast that when things go south, he says: “Yes and thank you.” He talked about the notion of being grateful for everything that comes your way and also thinking of your misfortunes with the 5-years-later hindsight as they happen. Why wait the 5 years? Have the peace of mind now.
Another mantra that I’ve found useful is from Dr. Wayne W. Dyer’s book, The Power of Intention: Learning to Co-create Your World Your Way: “I want to feel good.” He suggests just repeating it to help yourself get back to center. He explains at length how the purpose of our lives is to find ways to consistently feel good.
I try to think, “What is this an invitation for?” when things don’t go my way. Do I need to be more patient ,to slow down ,to look around?
When people are interviewed on their deathbeds, they often say that they wished they worried less, that they took more chances, and that they spent more time with family.
So, live life more lightly, worry less, and accept what the present is inviting you to.
10. “Enough” is the new “more.”
So often I catch myself comparing my business or my life or my parenting to others. It seems that there is still so much more that I want to experience, see, read, and accomplish. That brings me more anxiety and sadness and a kind of pressure to work harder. I catch myself judging my progress in life. In that space of judgement, jealousy, or dissatisfaction, I hardly create anything of good value. But when I get present to all that I already have, I feel fulfillment, a sense of overwhelming appreciation to the universe or life. When I think of everything that I already have in my life as a gift, I find myself inspired.
From a place of inspiration, we create what is a true reflection of our spirit. When we are aligned with our purpose in life, we move at a magical speed. We get pulled forward by our vision and we can take massive actions. We notice synchronicities, signs we are on the right path; things seem to come easily. We often make new connections, we get unexpected phone calls, and we open books to the right pages to get the ideas we hoped for. When we are on the right path, the whole universe conspires.
11. Find supportive people in your life to share your plan with.
In addition to creating systems for fulfilling your values, it would be enormously impactful for you to share your vision with the people you love and trust. If they are good partners, they’ll support you in your journey and hopefully you can inspire each other to grow and do even better. I often share with my friends the new things I am doing in my life to add value to our friendship, and share with them what I have found helpful, useful, or successful. As you can probably already see, I’ve read dozens of self-help and personal development books. I am constantly sharing with the people in my life what I am learning and trying out. It opens the conversation and often I learn new things from others as well. This type of nerding out is my favorite way to connect with people. I hope you enjoy it as well…
P.S. Send me an email with your life hacks for work-life harmony! Learning is my #1 strength according to StrengthsFinder 2.0,so I’d love to hear from you!
My wish to you, is that you are clear on your purpose, that you listen to the quiet whisper of your soul, and that you savor the harmony that pours into your heart.
If you feel you can use a new partner in your journey, a support system in the form of a personal coach, PLEASE connect with me to schedule your complimentary coaching session.
It’s my life’s purpose to support others in their journey to fulfill their greatness.
Yours in wisdom and greatness,
Kalina Cardoso
The following list of values is borrowed from one of my favorite authors and social scientists, Brené Brown. You can get her PDF from her Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. book here: https://daretolead.brenebrown.com/wpcontent/uploads/2019/02/Values.pdf
