How To Improve Your Environment – Feeling and performing at your best requires a significant amount of energy. Sometimes it feels nearly impossible to excel in our careers, spend time with family, take care of our bodies and grow our business all at the same time. Sleep, exercise, good nutrition, and connection play a huge role in having consistently high energy levels throughout the day—but they’re not the only factors.
Our outside world and environment are often indicators of how we’re feeling on the inside. It’s hard to feel energized if you’re surrounded by messy rooms and unorganized closets. Having more flow in your environment brings more flow into your internal state. Leaving your external world a mess zaps your energy. You feel like nothing is working and you’re constantly bumping into challenges.
What if instead, you experienced things flowing easily throughout your day, allowing you to take care of the things that matter to you the most? I’ve worked with a few clients who had significant personal and professional success by improving their external environment.
So in this post, I’ll summarize the easiest and most successful ways to leverage your environment to gain more energy and give you a system for identifying your areas for improvement. This way, you’ll be able to manage your environment for more energy and perform at your best.
Step #1: Take inventory of what you’re physically tolerating – How To Improve Your Environment
Make a list of all the things in your environment that annoy you: dishes in the sink, broken doorknob, overdue oil change, too many folders on your desktop, unanswered emails, piles of laundry, etc. Take a little notebook or start a note on your phone and list every single thing that you don’t like around you.
We’re just making a list—don’t get overwhelmed with how you’re going to fix everything yet.
Take the list with you throughout the day and notice other things that aren’t working or are not efficient. Continue the exercise for a day or two. Don’t forget to list essential items like organizing your personal documents and less important but still annoying things like getting a new garden hose.
Making a list will help you close all of the open tabs in your brain of things you’re trying to remember. Having ALL those items in one single list will already start to give you some more energy.
Step #2:Take inventory of what you’re virtually tolerating.
We spend a lot of time on our computers and phones. Make a list of what you can organize better there as well.
I recently had a session with a client who has been procrastinating on completing a big project for a few weeks. It was clear that he really wanted to complete it, but something was holding him back. Finally, he shared that his current working environment is less than optimal. His computer and desk weren’t comfortable and his desktop was overly cluttered. He shared that he had files and folders everywhere and a dozen tabs open at all times.
It’s almost impossible to focus when your workspace is disorganized. So ask yourself if there are areas in your phone, computer or tablet that could be cleaned up.
Step #3: Take inventory of what you’re tolerating in your business.
If you’re self-employed or you run a business, carve a couple of hours in your schedule to look into everything that could be optimized, simplified, systemized, automated or DELEGATED.
Bonus tip: Delegating is the most unutilized solution. You can delegate anything that you don’t want to do, don’t like doing or that’s slowing you down. Maybe it’s not possible for you to delegate much at this time, but set it as a goal and eventually, it will be.
Example: meals, cleaning, busy work, repetitive tasks, etc. I often think of my hourly rate and the hourly rate I can pay someone to get the job done. If I feel like I’ll have a good return on investment to pay someone else I usually do so.
Step #4: Start living as if you were the most organized person you know.
Before you start taking action on your lists, start making changes as you go.
Before, I used to let my laundry accumulate through the week and then do several loads on the weekend. Then, I’d have dry laundry on my bed for days. At night, I’d move it to the couch and in the morning, I’d move it back on my bed for future Kalina to worry about.
Now, the moment I have enough for a load, I just throw it in the washer, then in the drier, and then I fold it the same evening as I’m talking on the phone or listening to an audiobook.
The problem is, we think we don’t have time throughout the day to take care of the small things. So then the small things pile up and become the big things that drain our energy.
Think about the small things in your life that always seem to get in the way. Make a point to not let them build up any more.
Step #5: Prioritize your list and spread out your tasks in your calendar.
Now that you’re clear on what you need to do differently, you can start taking action.
First, re-write your list of things you’re tolerating by putting the ones that annoy you the most up on top. Complete it with listing everything else.
Next, find 30-minute blocks in your schedule and book one of the items you listed and take care of it. The goal is to make this easy, simple and not overwhelming so break it down into small chunks. You don’t need to block out a weekend to re-organize but you can chip away at your goals every day.
Lastly, keep the list somewhere where you’ll see it. You don’t want to forget to use the opportunity to knock more stuff off as you go.
In conclusion, our energy levels and how we feel depend to a big extent on what our external world looks like and how well it works. I think almost anyone would agree that they feel happier and more productive in a clean and organized home. And most entrepreneurs feel in a better state of flow when they’ve set up their business with the systems it needs to run smoothly. Setting up those systems can take some upfront time and energy but the results are worth the effort.
Even checking the smallest little annoyance off of your list will make you feel energized. You’ll probably experience a little boost of the feel-good hormone dopamine as you take care of something. That little moment of reward will boost your energy and make you want to continue these new habits.
If you still feel overwhelmed and stuck, you know who to call. Book your complimentary consultation over here.
Being a good listener is a great communication skill that will help you establish strong
relationships and be more successful. Being a better listener can help you with your
personal relationships but it could be one of your superpowers at work as well. so here are the 5 ways to be a better listener.
By implementing these 5 easy ways to be a better listener you’ll reap many benefits like being
liked, being trusted, and feeling connected to. When people feel heard, they feel respected
and understood, and that builds up a connection. Most of the human experience is about
wanting to feel connected.
The most successful leaders, coaches, realtors, and even
hostage negotiators leverage their listening skills to be more successful.
Often, our default setting is listening to find a way to respond and persuade or to wait for our
turn to speak.
One of the important things to remember when we talk about listening is that when we listen
to someone else, we need to focus on understanding them and being present to what’s
being said. It’s important to keep our own thoughts quiet and not to worry about responding.
The best way to build our relationships is from that kind of listening.
Here are the 5 easy ways to help you become a better listener:
1. Body language
Be hyper aware of what you face and body are showing to the person you’re listening to- are
you making eye contact, nodding your head to show that you’re listening, do you have open
body (uncross your arms and legs whenever possible), are you leaning in a bit towards the
speaker, are you turning your body towards to the person speaking? Pay attention to your facial
expressions and show that you’re engaged. Of course, looking around, playing with your
phone or fidgeting around are signs of boredom so try to stay as focused on the person as
you can. If you feel like you’re getting distracted, you can get back to being focused by
getting really present to the words being used, the tone, the speed of speech and to their
body language. When you set this as a goal, you’ll find it easier to stay focused.
2. Wait a few seconds after someone has finished speaking to start talking
One of the golden rules of life coaching is to wait about 3 seconds after my clients have
finished speaking to respond or to start talking. It’s not easy and sometimes it feels awkward.
But time and time again, I’ve seen amazing results from this practice- people tend to
continue speaking if allowed space and often share the most important bits of
information after you’ve made that pause.
I know that sometimes we really can’t wait to make a comment or ask another question but you’ll be pleasantly surprised how much you’ll
be rewarded if you just leave more “space” in the conversation. It makes the speaker feel
like what they’re saying matters and once they feel like you’re allowing them to continue to
speak, they’ll share more of what their thoughts and beliefs are. Then, they’ll feel a stronger
connection to you because they’ll feel heard and understood.
3. Don’t finish people’s sentences no matter how enticing it is.
This one is short and sweet- just let people find their own words no matter how slow of a
speaker they are. When I was younger I loved offering up words from my vocab but with time
I learned that when we do this we strip off some of the trust and intimacy we’ve built up with
that person. We seem impatient and not as interested. When you allow that extra time for
people to speak, they’ll see that you’re really interested in what they have to say. And that’s
great listening skills 🙂
4. Ask more clarifying questions to make sure you understand
When you ask more questions, you show the person your genuine interest and that you’re
willing to spend more time on making sure you understand them. That makes people feel
important and like they matter to you. Even if you feel like you’ve got what they were trying to
say, just asking a question to make sure you got them “right” will boost your relationship with
this person. And you may be surprised how many times it would turn out that you didn’t get
perfectly right what they were trying to say.
Think of conversations like peeling onions. You’ll
stay on the surface if you don’t ask questions but if you want to deepen the relationship,
you’ll need to ask more questions to get closer to the core.
Bonus points: start your questions with the word “What” and not “Why”. For example: What
is it about this that’s important to you? vs Why is this important to you? What is asking for
more depth and Why is asking for their reasons which could seem like you’re questioning
their motivations.
5. Acknowledge the speaker and thank them for their openness to share
It’s not only good manners to thank someone for the conversation but you’ll show them that
this interaction was meaningful to you. Also, you’ll acknowledge the fact that being open and
vulnerable to share your thoughts, feedback or opinion is not always easy. Everyone likes
a reward for their courage to share and therefore makes them more likely to do it
again. Moreover, by thanking people you’ll make them feel good about this interaction. The
better people feel around you the stronger your relationship with them will be.
I hope you enjoyed these 5 easy ways to be a better listener. If you like learning about
communication skills, you’ll probably like this post I wrote about recently about another easy
way to improve your communication skills.
As usual, I’m staying available for your comments or questions 🙂 Reach out at
info@coachkalina.com or schedule your complimentary consultation by clicking here.
Can You Afford NOT to Have a Coach? Are you trying to grow personally or professionally? Do you have a vision for your future where you fulfill your potential and live in alignment with your values? Are you thinking of changing careers, starting a business, stepping into a new role at work, or just leveling up a particular area of your life?
If so—can you afford not to have the support, accountability and guidance of a coach during this time of change and growth?
You can find your answer by answering this question:
If I veer off my desired trajectory by one or more degrees, would this affect my final destination? If yes, am I okay with arriving somewhere else?
Did you answered NO? Then you cannot afford to not have a coach in your corner. This quote from tandemfinancial.co.uk can help you better visualize the importance of staying on course when chasing a goal:
“Experts in air navigation have a rule of thumb known as the 1 in 60 rule. It states that for every 1 degree a plane veers off its course, it misses its target destination by 1 mile for every 60 miles you fly. This means that the further you travel, the further you are from your destination.”
Need more of a push to hire a coach? Here are 5 more reasons why you cannot afford not having a coach—and the few degrees that may change your trajectory.
#1 Imposter Syndrome
Roughly nine out of 10 of my clients experience imposter syndrome at some point along their journey. When you play big, you eventually reach a point where you can’t help but wonder if you’ve earned your seat at the table.
Working with a coach will help you remember who you are and where you’re headed. Many of my overachieving clients are so focused on their goals and what’s next that they forget how far they’ve come. They focus more on their challenges and shortcomings rather than their amazing strengths and expertise.
It takes that outside person to remind you of your strengths and accomplishments. A coach will support you to grow into your new role with confidence and authentic inner power.
#2 Fear
Fear often disguises itself as a well-meaning concern for your safety. To be fair, your fear has probably kept you out of a lot of trouble. But the same evolutionary fears that protect you from bears and sharp cliffs also keep you playing safe.
Your protective mechanisms don’t want you to get hurt.
When fear comes up, we either stay the same or modify our goals to something smaller and safer. For example, instead of applying for a new position, we decide that we’re not ready and need to pursue more education or experience.
I’ve myself have done this out of fear of disappointment or rejection. In 2012 after I completed my education and I had my daughter, I started to apply for full-time jobs. I knew I wanted to be a coach back then, but when I looked for opportunities, extraordinarily little seemed available. After a couple of disappointments, I decided to apply to be a personal trainer. I knew I had more than enough qualifications and experience to do that. My career journey continued in fitness and then in fitness management before I eventually came back to coaching.
I wonder what my trajectory could have been had I had a coach back then. Of course, I have no regrets and I got some great and relevant work experience on the way. But a coach early in my career could have supported me to play bigger and be more patient and courageous.
Working with a coach can support you in overcoming these fears and recognizing them before you veer off course.
#3 Emotions
Our nonstop environments hit us with events throughout the day—the news, email, our family’s moods, traffic, the weather, our bosses’ requests, etc. All these events trigger an emotional reaction in us.
Emotions are internal compasses we use to navigate life. We tend to go toward things that make us feel good and avoid things that make us feel bad. However, we also have automatic emotional responses to events. That means that your body and mind have gotten used to certain emotions and turn them on by habit. That’s why change is SO difficult.
For example, say you want to stop getting angry when your kids misbehave, but anger seems to automatically creep up every time. (Could I be using a personal example here?)
Sometimes certain emotions seem negative, but if examined with the help of your coach, they may turn out to be positive. For example, a client recently revealed that he felt nervous when he thought about realizing the vision of his business. But after we talked about it he realized that a lot of that anxiety was actually excitement and not fear. With that awareness, he is able to show up fully and pursue his dreams.
# 4 Old Beliefs
We have many beliefs about ourselves and how the world works. Some are true and some aren’t. A coach’s job is to stay curious and always ask where you’re coming from. As I coach, I want my clients to come from a place of clarity, confidence, and trust. And to do that, we need to peel off the layers of conditioning just like you’d peel an onion.
As innocent as old beliefs seem, all clients I’ve worked with had some kind of unexamined beliefs that were slowing down their progress or overwhelming them. Yes, even the really successful and high-achieving 7-figure business owners.
Working with a coach will help you spot a limiting belief and see how it hasn’t been serving you. After that ah-ha moment, it feels like you’ve been carrying around an 80lb backpack with one strap that you can finally put down.
For example, I had a client who believed that success meant a full-time job in corporate America where he worked up to a 6-figure income managing projects. Nothing about this vision seemed to reflect in his personality and values. After a few months of work together this client stepped into his zone of genius as an artist and fully went on to pursue his dream to create and sell art.
He then became an unstoppable force as he was now on the right trajectory and it was much easier to navigate his journey. We got clarity on his new vision, created his strategy, and set his goals. Then, he continued to execute the plan with confidence and alignment.
#5 Conditioning
We’re all products of our environment to a certain degree. Often, we pick up our family’s or community’s values as our own. A few months ago, I started working with a woman who hired me to help her to get a full-time job after retiring from the military. She had a long list of benefits and wants from that “ideal” job.
After our initial few sessions where we focused on discovering her values and her vision, she had a breakthrough. She realized that she never even questioned whether she was supposed to get a full-time job or not. It was her default reaction to where she was in life.
She was raised to believe that she had to have a full-time career and never really stopped to wonder if that’s what she truly wanted.
After a few more sessions we changed her goals. She is now diving into starting her own business while staying open to consulting opportunities for businesses and non-profits. This way she is staying true to her values of work-life balance.
I started my own business five years ago. If I veered off by a few degrees, I’d be somewhere totally different. My path would have been longer and probably a little more painful. I’m forever grateful for the coaches and mentors I’ve worked with who supported, challenged, and believed in me. I’ve shared my story and experience with coaching here.
I hope this post was able to help you understand on a deeper level how working with a coach can help you take fewer detours—as we all know, the road to success is always under construction.
If you’d like to learn more about coaching or working together, schedule your free consultation or leave me a note at info@coachkalina.com
Improving your communication skills could be a very vague idea- what does it even mean? Talking and explaining more? Having a better delivery or proper body language? Asking more questions? When we are overwhelmed by a topic we tend to just do nothing at all.
But there is one way to quickly improve your communication skills that will help you build a strong foundation and that is finding out what is your own communication style. You can easily do an assessment online to determine what are the ways you naturally relate to people.
Then, you can learn more about the other main types of communication styles. There are assessments that will teach you how the other types are different and also how to communicate best with them. Stay with me for a few more paragraphs to find out what are the best ways to improve your communications skills quickly through learning about communication styles.
Why do we care about communication styles?
You probably have a specific reason in mind to why you want to improve your communication skills. Excellent communication skills can take you far into your business or career but are also essential in every relationships. One main reason we “miscommunicate” or get misunderstood is not always the quantity of communication but the quality of it.
We are often unaware of how our partner or boss prefers to communicate. By learning more about communication styles you’ll expand your awareness and you’ll be able to pay attention in the future so you can achieve better results.
For example, I am an initiating communication style or thepromoter depending on the assessment, and I like a little bit of conversation and connection before I get down to business. I like to be in a fun and light environment for me to thrive. On the other hand the directive style, are results-oriented, focused and competitive. When I work with people with this style I adapt by cutting down the small talk and focusing on efficiency and structure.
A goal of understanding your communication style preferences is to communicate with others in a way that is comfortable and effective.
How to pick the right communication style assessment for you?
Your first step is to determine what kind of assessment you’d benefit from the most. Start with answering the question- what are your goals? If you are in a leadership role and you’ll need to be a better communicator and leader, you may need a more in-debt and detailed assessment with more information. You can talk to the person you directly report to or your mentor in your organization and find out if there are any tools they are already using. You can also search the internet for leadership assessments.
If you are just starting your career and you need a basic understanding of your communication style to help you grow and also learn what your strengths and weaknesses are, you can begin with a simple online search for assessments and pick one that works for you. I suggest completing several different free assessments to get a more well-rounded perspective.
How to use the information?
First, take a note to your strengths and attributes. Remember that you are probably a combination of different types so try to be objective and list all the attributes you exhibit consistently.
Think of ways how you can leverage and continue to strengthen your superpowers. Make a list of new ways that you can benefit from what comes to you naturally and see what is your potential. Think of opportunities that you may have if you develop your strengths even further. Focus on creating a development plan that would be a natural continuation and growth from what you are working with.
Next, make a list of the perceived challenges or weaknesses. Based on your goals, determine which of them you’d like to improve. Make sure you are wearing your “growth mindset” hat and be open to the feedback you get from the assessments. By making small steps towards improving on your weaknesses, you’ll develop a more well-rounded communication style that’s adaptive and it produces results. Being aware of the way you speak, write, listen and your body language can be one of your biggest personal assets.
For example, people with my personality type could be perceived as talkers and not listeners. I’ve worked hard on allowing plenty of space for others to speak in my presence. Ironically, as a certified coach I speak very little to my clients. I focus on asking questions and making short statements. Because of the awareness I’ve gained through exploring my communication style, and then the changes I’ve made, I am able to be a supportive and inspiring coach for my clients.
Practical ways to improve your communication style
Hobbies-once you’ve identified the ares you’d like to work on- think of old hobbies you may to continue to invest time in or to pick up new ones that will promote strengthening your specific skills. For example- I am a learner. Therefore, I continue to develop that superpower by having a reading practice and watching interesting podcasts that help me learn more things I’m passionate about.
Relationships- think of people who would be supportive partners on this journey. Are there people with a complementing communication style that you can be closer with? Do you need to make more friends with similar goals so you could keep yourself accountable?
Networking- joining different groups and organizations will help you flex your communication muscles and get plenty of practice.
Working with a coach- working with a coach could be a great way to grow personally and professionally. As coaches, we listen to the way you think, speak and show up in the world and we reflect it back to you in a constructive way. One of the ways I help my clients with is to point out to the way they are speaking or thinking and 9/10 times they are surprised to hear that that’s the way they’re landing- sometimes it’s enthusiasms and energy, sometimes they speak shyly and more quiet. Having a coach could help you improve your communication skills so you can have more meaningful relationships and more professional success. Schedule a free consultation by clicking HERE.